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Journal Article Excerpt
"Here comes the Bride": the making of a "modern traditional" wedding in western culture.

by Dawn H. Currie

Changes in marriage and family dynamics during the past 25 years have given rise to new questions for sociologists of the family. Following legislative changes in the 1960s, the divorce rate in Canada has increased steadily, so that up to one third of marriages today are likely to end in divorce.(1) As indicators of marital instability rose in most western industrialized societies, commentators declared a "crisis in the family" (see Gittins, 1985). However, against trends of family breakdown the vast majority of Canadians continue to marry, and also to remarry after divorce. On this basis some writers claim that marriage and the family are "alive and well," or even "getting better." In support of the latter interpretation, writers note that Canadians continue to value family life: between 1984 and 1986, 86% of women and 83% of men were, or had been, married, supporting Maclean's (1987) poll that 81% of Canadians rate the family as becoming a more important part of their lives (in Nett, 1988: 2). These types of data have been used to advance the claim that marriage remains popular because it is more possible now, than before, for individuals to seek out fulfilling relationships. On the other hand, feminists draw attention to the frequency of violence against wives by husbands and the unequal division of domestic labour which characterizes most heterosexual households. For these writers, the modern nuclear family is interpreted as a central factor in women's continued oppression in the West, and thus as being in need of further dismantling (see Burt, Code and Dorney, 1988; Boulton, 1983; Thorne, 1982; Barrett and McIntosh, 1982). Given the public documentation of trends which underlie this latter claim, and a rising consciousness about gender parity among Canadians, feminists are beginning to ask why the traditional, nuclear family persists.

The answer to this question is complex, and thus is the matter of ongoing academic debate. Here, one enduring aspect of traditional family life is explored: the everyday activity of "getting married." While the past few decades have seen growth in alternatives to marriage (see Wilson, 1990), Canadians continue to perceive legal marriage as an indicator of greater commitment, even when they are already living in common-law unions. Baker (1990: 48) notes that the wedding ceremony itself is frequently seen as a "rite of passage" to adult status. Many families save for years and spend considerable sums on wedding clothing and receptions, even though the event itself is short-lived. For those marrying, Church weddings remain important. Although they declined from 91% of marriages in 1972 to 70% in 1982, this figure has levelled off (Nett, 1988: 211).

Wedding days are often considered the most important day of many people’s lives. For this reason alone, throughout the past and into modern day, numerous customs and superstitions have developed around the wedding event, in hopes of creating ‘The Perfect Day!’

A very common custom still honored today is in reference to a time-old saying, ‘Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence inside your shoe’. So old is this that tracing it back to its origination is nearly impossible. Some contribute it to Victorian times, others say it is even older than that. The ‘old’ is believed to be the friends and family attending the wedding. The ‘new’ is represented by the couple themselves, as a ‘new’ union. The ‘borrowed’ is something from the families that is to be returned, such as the bride's wedding dress, or the veil, borrowed from her own mother. Something ‘blue’ is often interpreted to represent the bride’s virginity, as in the opposite of red, which throughout time has come to represent a woman of many men. Modern day brides often wear a bit of blue material tucked out of sight. The sixpence can be any form of money, tucked into the bride's shoe, this to bring wealth, both in monetary means and love, to the union.

The veil and the bridesmaids were originated not as decorations or to allow your friends to share in your happy day, but to help confuse the evil spirits that were believed to be lurking about on this holy day. The veil, by hiding the face, particularly the eyes, confused the evil spirits. Bridesmaids would surround the bride, thus confusing the evil spirits as to who was the actual bride. In a similar belief, the best man is suppose to protect the groom from the day the wedding is first set in motion, until he is rightfully married to his impending bride.

Weddings have historically taken place in higher numbers during the month of June than any other month of the year. This ties into the old belief that it was lucky to be married on the day of the full moon. A wedding on the June day of a full moon was considered to be the most prosperous and long lasting union of all. These go together with the belief that a wedding on a bright, sunny day, which June is well known for, foretold good luck for the bride and groom, compared to being married on a rainy day, which foretold bad luck and a short marriage.

The world over, people throw rice at weddings. Why? It shows that the guests wish fertility, prosperity, and long lasting happiness for the newly married couple.

Colors have long played a part in the planning of weddings. While many believe that the white of the wedding dress signified that the bride is a virgin, this is not actually true in all societies. An old saying sums up the colors in a wedding very well:

Marry in white, you will do all right

Marry in blue, your man will be true

Marry in brown, you will live in town

Marry in green, you should be ashamed to be seen

Marry in red, wish yourself dead

Marry in black, better turn back

Marry in yellow, not marrying the right fellow

Marry in gray, sadness will come your way

The day of the week that the wedding is to take place is also steeped in custom, hence the saying:

Marry on Monday for wealth,

Tuesday for health,

Wednesday the very best day of all,

Thursday you will soon be counting your losses,

Friday your crosses,

and if married on Saturday, you will have no luck at all!

One tradition that has been around so long is whether or not it is good luck for the bride to make her own wedding dress. Some people believe it is lucky, others feel it is very unlucky for the bride to even help with the making of the dress.

Throwing of the bride’s bouquet is good luck for the bride, and foretells the next of her friends to be married. Whoever catches the bouquet should take a small sliver of the wedding cake home with her and place it beneath her pillow just as she goes to sleep that night. She will dream of her future husband on that single night.

Many superstitions also exist for right after the wedding to start the marriage off right. The new couple should borrow a coffeepot for the first three months, then purchase one together. A new broom and frying pan is needed to start the couple off on a road to happiness, never start off a marriage with these two items old, or already used. The bride should cook her new husband and herself their first meal; it should not be eaten at a restaurant or an in-laws house. Never sell the wedding dress. It can be borrowed out, or even given away, but never let money be received for the dress or the marriage will come to a quick end.

Keep in mind these are all just customs and superstitions. Marriage is a union between two people who love each other! (But it never hurts to add a little luck in whatever way you can!)

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